A Diary of Dreams...

The other day I found your picture. Memories flooded my mind, memories of all the time we spent together. I stared at your picture for hours and I remembered every thought that passed through my head the first time I saw you. I stared at your picture and remember that day. It was summer, it was years ago... "I've always known, you'd take on the world To relive what's just Flashbacks and memories In scrapbooks of pleasantries With your banners unfurled Fly the colors of Yesterdays witty scenes The dreams of all wannabes To remember you need to forget, you need to forget" 24.08.2010 Replica

“Studded leather, strip it, and inside – the most beautiful soul” My first reaction was to call Cynthia and tell her. After the first ring she picked up. “I know, I just saw. I’m on my way. Get off work.” As I hung up, Ron burst in the room. “Vicious.” “I know.” “Did you…?” “No. I know better than that and you know it, Ron.” “I want you to arrange an interview for us. With Dany and Jayden, at least. ASAP. Chop-chop.” He left the room. I knew full well a lot of magazines were going to start calling in asking if I had anything to do with this. I was one of the 10 journalists that got to interview Vicious in Paris in spring. Names spread fast. I opened Vicious’ forum board and started going through the 12-page topic about ‘Anya’. All posts had the same question: Who is Anya and what is her relation to the band? At some point Dany posted giving a brief explanation and picking on their curiosity more – Anya is just a woman we met on the road this year that inspired us all deeply. In fan lan...

Tequila Round At that time it never occurred to me that a rock star can fall in love, nor that he believed in love at first sight. I did what Cynthia told me to do at the lunch – I acted professional and a little distant, especially towards Dany, then said my goodbyes and climbed in the limo that was to drive us to the hotel and then to the airport. Jayden was sad to see me go and he begged me to stay for a few days more. I promised I would come visit him in England first chance I get and he cheered up a little. Eric gave me a hug and slipped a guitar pick in my hand “for luck.” Glen made a little joke and said I’m the best journalist he’s ever worked with. Dany was the last to say goodbye. I was surprised how cold he acted, considering what had happened a few hours ago. The butterflies in my stomach were still dancing up and down in a spiral every time my eyes met his, but Cynthia’s voice and my determination overcame them, eventually. Maybe that day I was a little sad to part from so...

I take my hat off, bow before the greatness You're so much braver I give you credit for Somehow the grays create a harmony And no color can add a flavor... I've started to feel like... I know the face, familiar stranger I'm not a child, I feel misunderstood I built a bridge, you use the tunnel... now... - the rope we are pulling is slipping away from me; All this wasted time is killing me... and I've started to feel like... I can not control my life anymore Feel a need to leave and breathe on my own I remember all the broken songs of our life Maybe one more wrong will make it all right? I just really need to be alone now... I can not control my life anymore Feel a need to leave and breathe on my own I remember all the broken songs of our life Maybe one more wrong will make it all right? I just really need to be alone now... Tony Kakko 2009 Days of Grays 07.08.2010 Replica

Breakfast on the Shores of Seine At my first job my editor, Cynthia, loved to joke with me about how her greatest nightmare is to lose one of her writers to a rock star. I myself had a few friends that ended up leaving their career to be with a rock star. Truth to be told, and you’d know that, if you’re a girl, we all dream of a long-haired guy with a lot of tattoos, in leather pants, on a bike, who will write us songs and play on his acoustic guitar every night. And rock stars are exactly that. Only in our dreams they aren’t all about pussy, alcohol and drugs. Reality, when you’ve been around rock stars long enough, starts to seem vague. You’re drawn into a spiral of never-ending parties, that involve a lot of pussy, alcohol and drugs. The pussy are the poor girls who did not realize in time a rock star is not someone you can take to dinner at your mommy and daddy’s house and build a home with. They want to be with a rock star because they can brag that they found their dream-bad-boy,...

...all you hear is excuses and promises? Am I supposed to look the other way and stay there just because? Am I supposed to look you in the eye and walk away just because? Tell me... 12.07.2010 Replica

The Gig My name is Anya. No last name, simply Anya. I sign all my articles with that name. People in the business know me by it. The man I loved knew me by it. I work as a freelance journalist at a big music magazine and I’m responsible for the rock and metal section. My job is to keep my eyes opened for new hot bands, contact them, interview them, go to concerts and attend press conferences. It pays off. Music has been my passion since I can remember and rock’n’roll has been in my blood. My dad used to play his records to me until I was old enough and had enough money to buy records of my own. In time, with the internet stepping in, it became easier to get in touch with band members. Interviews were arranged easily, no time lost in traveling on either side. With that I made a lot of connections with bands from all over Europe and America. I traveled great distances rarely, but when I did it was usually for a very remarkable artist. Such was the case with Vicious. Emerging from the UK,...

Попаднах на група във facebook - "АЗ НЕ СЪМ ИЗБЯГАЛ!!!" . Три удивителни накрая. Знак за абсолютна гордост от факта. Стана ми любопитно какво е казал мъдрия български гражданин със снимки на профила с очила стил Топ Гън, ама още по-големи и тъпи пози в скъпо изглеждащите тоалетни на МОЛ-а, та се позачетох из стената. Хората бяха напускали линкове към патриотични песни, статии от света за развитието на България, компетентни и не до там компетентни мнения и реплики по адрес на хората, избягали в чужбина... и някъде там, с дата 22 Март 2010 година се мъдри линка на господин създателя на групата Игор Георгиев. Гореспоменатият пуска линк към песента Не Съм Избягал на Камен Воденичаров със следният личен коментар към него: "ЗА ВСИЧКИ БЪЛГАРИ ПОБЕГНАЛИ ИЗ РАЗНИ ЧУЖДИ СТРАНИ: ОТВОРЕТЕ СИ ОЧИТЕ И СЕ ЗАМИСЛЕТЕ (ЗА ДА НЕ ВИ ГИ ОТВАРЯМ АЗ) Не можете да разберете, че като се опитвате да се реализирате в чужбина просто помагате на мишки като Доган, Станишев и Царя да ни продадат за ск...

...и когато сам в пустиня бродиш, спомни си защо сам тръгна, защо пустинята избра... Пясъкът, навсякъде под теб гори И сякаш по пламъци вървиш. Върви, върви, главата гордо вдигната. Назад недей поглежда, не се обръщай. Дюна подир дюна, слънцето обагря всичко във червено и ето нощ отново е, и ето студ отново е. Сам войнът продължава да върви През студ, през пек, през отчаяние дори. Не мисли той за нищо друго, единствено За туй, зарад що дома си далеч остави. (Нищо няма тук за теб, само смърт, И пек. Ни сянка, ни вода, Обречен си по пътя сам ти Да вървиш.) Пясъкът, навсякъде под теб гори И сякаш по пламъци вървиш. Върви, върви, главата гордо вдигната. Назад недей поглежда, не се обръщай. Помни зарад що си тръгнал, през пустини И през пек. Пони зарад що си се обрекал сам да бъдеш Навек. И не забравяй туй, що те по Пътя води. Назад недей поглежда, не се обръщай. Главата гордо вдигната, върви, върви. ...и когато понечиш назад да се обърнеш, помни – пътят е един. 15.03.2010 Replica П.П.: Нас...

Така съм създадена – да обичам. Така съм създадена – да горя и със своя пламък да привличам. Така си ти създаден – да си винаги привлечен; Като пеперуда нощна към мен да се стремиш. И някой ден, когато ме достигнеш, в мойте пламъци да изгориш. 17.12.2009 Replica

"And then one day, when you're like 90, you will tell your grandchildren how you were, this one time, a part of Tony's drum set..." Най-добрия концерт, EVER. 'Nuff said. Сетлист: Everything Fades To Gray (Instrumental) Flag In The Ground Paid in Full Caleb The Last Amazing Grays FullMoon/Total Eclipse of the Heart/FullMoon As If The World Wasn't Ending 8th Commandment Last Drop Falls White Pearl, Black Oceans... Juliet The Cage Drum Game In Black and White Don't Say a Word Vodka Everything Fades to Gray Да, да, ЦЯЛАТА White Pearl, Black Oceans. И Last Drop Falls... и Juliet... Обичам Соната! 14.11.2009 Sonata-loving, voiceless, intoxicated and wanting to see them once more on this tour Replica

She was so beautiful, asleep next to me. I haven't thought of her for a lifetime, or two. Why now? 'I love you', she whispers... I woke up with tears streaming down my face. She was so beautiful, asleep next to me. She was mine. My child was laughing in the other room. I looked at my watch, it was well past midnight. I walked to her room, peering in the darkness at my baby. She should be sleeping... and Lilith... Lilith shouldn't be here. Not tonight. Not ever. Not near me. I sat next to the little bed and watched as my baby laughed while the woman I loved played with her. My mind slowly drifted to lifetimes ago, when I first met her. She was so beautiful, smiling at me. It was long ago, before we both took human forms. No one remembered us by now. A slight breeze brushed my face and I knew she was here. She was here… Lilith shouldn't be here. Not tonight. Not ever. Not near me. 'Was it in the last life or the one before?', I asked, my eyes glaring at the em...

Е, дойде му времето и на новият сезон на Хаус най-сетне. Двучасов епизод. Яко. Два часа ирония и сарказъм. Как да не го обичаш тоя човек и как да не искаш той да те лекува? (риторичен въпрос, ако някой ми отговори, ще го убия... агресивна съм...) Та, гледам си аз новия епизод, радвам се на щуротиите, иронията и сарказма му и в един момент, незнайно откъде, ме осени, че всъщност Хаус е събирателен образ на човешката природа. (Да, да... пак са ме хванали настроения за размисли.) Знам, че някои от вас ще отрекат да се сравняват с Хаус, защото той е цинично надрусано копеле, само дето (както казах в спор на тема Хаус преди няколко дни) той има повече връзка с реалността отколкото 90% от хората. Реплики от типа на на "Everybody lies" го доказват. Хаус вижда света и човешката природа съвсем ясно, знае, че всеки лъже за нещо, като от това everybody не изключва и себе си. И наистина, замислете се, всеки лъже - за пари, за любов, за да мине по-бързо в магазина, за да седне на по-хубав...

FINLAAAAND! WE'RE HERE TO... UGH... UGH... APOLOGIZE! So here I am, back from FINLAAAND, safe and sound. I survived the flights, the waiting, THE meeting with my beloved Poets, the drinking with Joni and everything else there was to survive. And it wasn't as cold as people say it is, actually. A lot of firsts were involved in that trip: my first flight, my first trip to Finland, my first holiday alone, my first meeting with Alev in real life, my first meeting with a band I really love, my first promised interview, my first meeting with Joni from rain diary... and a lot of other firsts I can't recall right now. Truth is, I tried to keep a diary of everything that happened during those days in Helsinki, but I think a lot got lost in the emotions and memories. My pics are still dwelling on my camera, since my laptop is sick and had to go to the doctor, but I promise they will be up as soon as possible. I'll keep it brief, though I wanted to make a really long entry and des...

Don’t go away tonight, please stay. And if you have to go, don’t come in my dreams. And if you have to come, don’t smile at me. And if you have to smile, don’t kiss me. And if you have to kiss, don’t say you love me. And if you have that to say, don’t go away tonight, please stay... 12.07.2009 Replica P.S.: We both know the feeling, don't we?

Here I lie sleepless, dreamless. There you were again sleepless, dreamless. I want to dream again, but you said 'be sleepless, dreamless.' I trust you, blind, sleepless, dreamless. Silently you made me sleepless, dreamless. But I learned not to be sleepless, dreamless. For years I walked sleepless, dreamless. Then I learned – sleepless, dreamless, through life you can't go. Let you be the sleepless, dreamless, disembodied you. Let me be the sleepless, dreaming, embodied me. 19.06.2009 Replica

It's midnight. Again. I can't sleep. Again. And I was thinking I just put my sleeping habits in order. I guess I was fooling myself. Again. I've had this urge recently to watch some old movies, go back to my childhood memories, to my happy place, to my Neverland and just live in it for a night. But all the social networks and the "benefits" mankind created for itself dragged me out of there. Forcefully. Brutally. They washed my fairy dust off me and I can no longer fly. They locked my shadow in the cupboard and I'm sad. I was looking at Kay's facebook right about a minute ago and was thinking how people like to display their love. I was thinking how much I wish you were here tonight and not so far away. Right now, I feel like screaming at the world for being such a messy place. I feel like screaming at all the people and their norms and moralities (or rather lack of them). I feel like screaming at all the happy people out there. Just because holding the pi...

I'm drinking to remember, I'm drinking to forget. Cheers to thee, who left. My vision blurred, my knees weak, I was walking to thee. Opiate in my blood, opiate in my thought, I was drinking to forget. Forsook we were, from start Me – to drink to remember, You – to be the one who left. 05.06.2009 Replica

Winter I saw you walking outside in the snow, in the cold. Hands in your pocket, stooping. Scarf tightly around your neck. The cold made your cheeks red. Your thick coat makes me think of armour. Armour around that fragile being you are. Around that fragile someone I know. You stopped there, under the clock, in the middle of the dark street. Reluctantly you took out a cigarette and lit it, your hand shaking as you brought it up your lips. I watched you while you smoked it and then threw it on the ground stepping on it. People were passing you by, all in their coats, in their armour. All protected by the cold. You never paid attention to them, until she passed. She smiled at you, you smiled back. Spring I saw you walking outside in the sunlight, gathering as much warmth as you could. Hand in hand with her, smiling. Your armour was not as hard. Your fragile self was almost exposed to her, to the world. You stopped there, under the clock, in the middle of the street. You pulled her closer...

6-ти май. Масово познат на народа като Гергьовден. За мен този ден има малко по-специално значение, което не е свързано с нито един от много Гошовци, които познавам. На този ден преди точно година най-голямата ми мечта стана реалност - Sonata Arctica свириха в България, а аз бях там, на първи ред, пред Тони, с приятели около себе си и чух Replica. Трябва да си призная, че 6-ти май 2008 е ден, който ще помня още дълго време. Не мисля, че от тогава досега, а и преди това, съм се чувствала по-щастлива и цяла. Думите са слаби да изразят колко много обичам точно тези шестима фини... Гледайки отново концерта от Каварна, се замислих как пътувайки към Варна 2 дни преди концерта, аз слушах Poets of the Fall, а не Соната. Замислих се как буквално ги бях отписала и въртях само Поетите. А после как бях отписала Поетите и бях зациклила на Eluveitie. Истината е, че независимо какво казва last.fm-а ми, независимо с каква мелодия звъни телефона ми, какъв уолпейпър имам на лаптопа, телефона и плейъра с...