It's midnight. Again.
I can't sleep. Again.
And I was thinking I just put my sleeping habits in order.
I guess I was fooling myself. Again.
I've had this urge recently to watch some old movies, go back to my childhood memories, to my happy place, to my Neverland and just live in it for a night. But all the social networks and the "benefits" mankind created for itself dragged me out of there. Forcefully. Brutally.
They washed my fairy dust off me and I can no longer fly.
They locked my shadow in the cupboard and I'm sad.
I was looking at Kay's facebook right about a minute ago and was thinking how people like to display their love. I was thinking how much I wish you were here tonight and not so far away. Right now, I feel like screaming at the world for being such a messy place. I feel like screaming at all the people and their norms and moralities (or rather lack of them). I feel like screaming at all the happy people out there. Just because holding the pillow is not the same as holding you. And I don't get to see you soon. Because the world sucks.
If I close my eyes now, I might fly back to Neverland. I will see myself as a kid, with my favorite yellow dress, running in the over-my-head grass, playing in the ruins of the old house, lipsyncing misheard lyrics to 90s dance hits and making up dance routines on the stairs of the once-restaurant. I might fly to a place where kids grew up as kids and not as some cheap copies of the world's "stars".
I saw this guy today, he had a shirt that said FUCK BARBIE. And I really loved that shirt. Because Barbie is way too unreal and it show exactly how fucked up our "perfect" society is. I don't even want to get started on that topic, actually. This post was meant as a lament to times I wish for today's kids to have. Times they will never have.
Like I said, I'm watching old movies these days. One of the last ones I saw that impressed me was Wild Orchid, with Mickey Rourke. Damn, why don't they make more movies like that one? It was so beautiful in its simplicity, I could watch it every minute of my life and never get enough of it. It was so erotic in a very romantic way. It had sex scenes, but not the vulgar display of a man and a woman wildly fucking, but the sensual sex, that seems long forgotten. The 'making love' thing...
That movie got me thinking how much is lost to this generation. How much great art will never be appreciated because kids now are blinded from birth. How much kids aren't kids anymore the moment they get out of the womb and cry with the first breath of air. How they don't realize it and believe it's cool to be a grown up.
Well, it's not. It really isn't.
Only recently it occured to me that I'm already 20, almost 21. I'm a grown up now. I take care of myself. I have a job. I buy stuff. To get a better job. I STRIVE to live. I wish I could go out in my favorite yellow dress again and be careless in the over-my-head grass. Then I would come home to mom and dad and they'd send me to the bathroom because I was all muddy.
But that times are long gone.
What is sad is not that they are gone for me. It's sad they will never come for kids today.
Because games outside is now replaced with videogames.
Because playing hide and seek is now replaced my skype and facebook.
I also just saw Pocahontas. Both parts. Damn, that girl is a bitch. And, sadly, these are the role models for the kids. Bitches. Fake Barbies. How sad...
We have been talking a lot with dad recently on how fucked up the world is becoming with every day and I'm starting to think that for whatever reason the Mayan calendar ends with 2012, it's for good. As much as I hate to consider I might actually have 2 and a half years more to live, I don't want to live in a world where values are long forgotten. I don't want Earth to turn into Libria.
Excuse my troubled random mind, it longs for a much-needed rest.
Excuse my gloomy desperate thoughts, it's just how I see the world with my own two eyes.
Excuse me for being such a helpless dreamer, it's just that I'm too fond of Peter Pan tonight.
Excuse me for being so romantic, it's supposed to be a crime, I think?
Excuse me for being so lonely and loving, it's just who I am...
09.06.2009
Replica
I can't sleep. Again.
And I was thinking I just put my sleeping habits in order.
I guess I was fooling myself. Again.
I've had this urge recently to watch some old movies, go back to my childhood memories, to my happy place, to my Neverland and just live in it for a night. But all the social networks and the "benefits" mankind created for itself dragged me out of there. Forcefully. Brutally.
They washed my fairy dust off me and I can no longer fly.
They locked my shadow in the cupboard and I'm sad.
I was looking at Kay's facebook right about a minute ago and was thinking how people like to display their love. I was thinking how much I wish you were here tonight and not so far away. Right now, I feel like screaming at the world for being such a messy place. I feel like screaming at all the people and their norms and moralities (or rather lack of them). I feel like screaming at all the happy people out there. Just because holding the pillow is not the same as holding you. And I don't get to see you soon. Because the world sucks.
If I close my eyes now, I might fly back to Neverland. I will see myself as a kid, with my favorite yellow dress, running in the over-my-head grass, playing in the ruins of the old house, lipsyncing misheard lyrics to 90s dance hits and making up dance routines on the stairs of the once-restaurant. I might fly to a place where kids grew up as kids and not as some cheap copies of the world's "stars".
I saw this guy today, he had a shirt that said FUCK BARBIE. And I really loved that shirt. Because Barbie is way too unreal and it show exactly how fucked up our "perfect" society is. I don't even want to get started on that topic, actually. This post was meant as a lament to times I wish for today's kids to have. Times they will never have.
Like I said, I'm watching old movies these days. One of the last ones I saw that impressed me was Wild Orchid, with Mickey Rourke. Damn, why don't they make more movies like that one? It was so beautiful in its simplicity, I could watch it every minute of my life and never get enough of it. It was so erotic in a very romantic way. It had sex scenes, but not the vulgar display of a man and a woman wildly fucking, but the sensual sex, that seems long forgotten. The 'making love' thing...
That movie got me thinking how much is lost to this generation. How much great art will never be appreciated because kids now are blinded from birth. How much kids aren't kids anymore the moment they get out of the womb and cry with the first breath of air. How they don't realize it and believe it's cool to be a grown up.
Well, it's not. It really isn't.
Only recently it occured to me that I'm already 20, almost 21. I'm a grown up now. I take care of myself. I have a job. I buy stuff. To get a better job. I STRIVE to live. I wish I could go out in my favorite yellow dress again and be careless in the over-my-head grass. Then I would come home to mom and dad and they'd send me to the bathroom because I was all muddy.
But that times are long gone.
What is sad is not that they are gone for me. It's sad they will never come for kids today.
Because games outside is now replaced with videogames.
Because playing hide and seek is now replaced my skype and facebook.
I also just saw Pocahontas. Both parts. Damn, that girl is a bitch. And, sadly, these are the role models for the kids. Bitches. Fake Barbies. How sad...
We have been talking a lot with dad recently on how fucked up the world is becoming with every day and I'm starting to think that for whatever reason the Mayan calendar ends with 2012, it's for good. As much as I hate to consider I might actually have 2 and a half years more to live, I don't want to live in a world where values are long forgotten. I don't want Earth to turn into Libria.
Excuse my troubled random mind, it longs for a much-needed rest.
Excuse my gloomy desperate thoughts, it's just how I see the world with my own two eyes.
Excuse me for being such a helpless dreamer, it's just that I'm too fond of Peter Pan tonight.
Excuse me for being so romantic, it's supposed to be a crime, I think?
Excuse me for being so lonely and loving, it's just who I am...
09.06.2009
Replica
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