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7 Minutes of Life

00:44

Last chords of a song, a cigarette in my hand, a lighter in my pocket. I head out to smoke it, to marvel at the city at midnight.
I open the door and the cold air outside embraces me, like a mother embraces a child.
The cigarette is between my lips, my hand reaches for the lighter.
A click.
Light.
Fire.
Beauty.
I inhale the poison.

Leaning on the parapet of the balcony, I stare in the artificially lit city. Silence…
No music.
Just my breath.
And the quiet sound of fire devouring the dry tobacco.
Silence…

00:45

The night is still young.
I listen to the silence. I hear the gentle hum of the supposedly asleep city.
Crushing me.
Filling my ears.
Making me want to scream.
I hear the city inhale and exhale evenly, lazily, sleepily.
The silence crushing me.

A lone car passes on the street, no music from it, the driver yawning and eagerly stepping on the gas pedal to get home faster.
A lone drunk man passes on the side walk beside the car, not talking to himself, not listening to music. Just drunk. Music playing in his head…
I wonder is he looking for his home…
(Like me.)
Or is he going away from it?
Could you call a vicious place like this your inviolate home?

00:46

Thinking of home, I though about you again.
About how you used to hold me at night.
About how I used to hold you at night.
About how we used to hold each other.
But you’re gone, you left.

00:47

I look up to the stars, the only ones who will witness the agony of an already agonizing soul.
Hey, little one, can you tell me which way is home?

00:48

I inhale more of the poison in my hand.
It feels good to have it in my system. It takes my mind off you.
It puts my mind on you.
I miss you.

00:49

I look up at the stars again.
There!
One fell.
I made a wish.

00:50

I did not wish to forget you.
I never wished to forget you.
I want to always remember you.
Because you are and you will always be a part of me.
Life and Death.

I wish to find my home.
I wish it happened for once.
I wish to have the one I want.

00:51

Last inhale of poison.
7 minutes have gone so fast.
I hold this one for longer.
I give it time to enter every corner of my lungs, every corner of me.
Because it might be my last.
I made a promise.
I will keep it.
At least until the next time I ponder on Life in 7 minutes.

03.04.2009
Replica

Comments

Wolf AZA said…
пушенето убива , мисленето убива .... спомените убиват ... дали животните са по добре като не мислят/чувстват? Или може би роботите , защото те дори нямат инстинтки за съхранение на потомството ... о.0

Smoke kill ...
Neeyla said…
Животът убива...

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