A Diary of Dreams...

Almost a decade later, our love is still as strong and as beautiful. I can never thank you enough. "Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all [...] You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never [...] Be calm - love me - today - yesterday [...] Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved. Ever thine, ever mine, ever ours." Ludwig Van Beethoven 30.11.2010 Replica

England Cynthia grunted in disgust as she saw the rain pouring outside the airport in London. I wasn’t particularly fond of it either, but my mind was preoccupied. We arrived over an hour ago and there was supposed to be a private car to pick us up, get us to our hotel and drive us around wherever we wanted to, but there was still no sign of it. Cynthia was on the verge of her patience and I could see her eyes darting to the cigarette shop nearby. She quit smoking years ago, but I can imagine how nervous she was right now. Hell, I could use a smoke too. So we headed there, bought a pack of cigarettes and headed outside to smoke. “Fucking rock stars and their fucking fashionably late trends!” There was no way in heaven or on earth that you could make this woman hold her tongue once she got pissed off. Especially not when it comes to rock stars. “What do you think will the story be?” “About the song? They’ll probably come up with something ridiculous that no one will believe. The more im...

Кажи обичаш ли ме още? Кажи, обичаш ли ме още? След толкова години вече… Еднакви дни… Еднакви нощи… И стар… и грозен… и объркан… И нямащ време, нямащ време… Кажи, обичаш ли ме още… Кажи ми, дявол да го вземе. Недей мълча… Не се преструвай, че ти е все едно отдавна. Ах, битката ни бе жестока, но точно затова пък славна. Две кучета… И остри зъби… И пак съвместно съществуват. И не разбираш в крайна сметка ръмжат ли или се целуват. Кажи обичаш ли ме още? Дори да кажеш „не” – кажи го. И напиши го, размножи го на ксерокс или със индиго. Раздай го на света, пръсни го от самолет като реклама как имало любов, която сега я няма… няма… няма… Но има… има… има… знам го. И ти го знаеш безусловно. Тя съществува нелегално, прикрито, тайно и съдбовно… Натаралежена, сърдита… как искам аз да я погаля… Но тя като бодлива топка по стръмнината се търкаля. И тъй… Аз още те обичам…Ще ти го кажа някой ден, но … Дали пък точно днес, например, да ти го кажа непременно. А в други ден да те попитам , тъй както те ...

Арестувайте я! Приберете я! Далеч да от мен, махнете я! Затворете я в килия, далеч да е от мен! Убийте я проклетницата, дето се любов нарича! Затворете я далеч, в малка стъклена бутилка; Най-горе я сложете, че никой да не я стига. И там да си седи, и прах да събира, Доде не я забравят всички. На прах я стрийте, изгорете я, убийте я. Далеч да е от мен, махнете я! И колкото и да се моли, не слушайте я - Думите й лъжат, действия - измамни. Приберете я в бутилка, най-горе я сложете. И там да си седи, и прах да събира... 09.11.2010 Replica

Life is cruel. At the moment, when you thought you had everything, the most important thing collapses on you. No, not just collapses... I don't even know the word to describe it. A piece falls here and hits in the face, then another one, right there in your stomach, taking your breath out. Then another one hits your arm, and your leg... and by now you can barely stand on your own two feet. But it's not over yet, the big piece, the one that will rip you open is yet to come. And when it does what choice do you have but to cave in? All meaning is lost and life is pointless to such a painful point, you don't want to live anymore, but you're too scared to kill yourself, so instead you do it slowly, naturally. You feast on pain and tears and cigarettes and nothing else. Because nothing else really makes sense anymore, everything has been ripped from you. You walk among people, trying to find a way to keep him out of your head, just for 5 minutes, and you end up wondering ...